no, you can’t get too much love

On a thick July Wednesday, before anyone else in the house was awake, I tiptoed into the bathroom to take a home pregnancy test.  Within seconds, two bright pink lines stared back at me.  Pregnant.  Again.  But this time, the lines were thick and bold, unmistakably vivid on the test screen window.  I took it as a sign that I could hope this pregnancy would be the one to take, the one strong enough to hold on and complete our family.

IMG_0901  IMG_0903  IMG_0905

I had imagined all sorts of cute ways to share the news of a pregnancy with Mike, but four losses in 18 months had us both rather shy of getting our hopes up.  Celebrating with a big surprise announcement, only to say goodbye within weeks, no longer felt like the right move.  Instead, I quietly woke him up.  He had been relegated to Natalie’s bed for the night, as she and I snuggled in our room for her once-weekly night in “Mommy’s bed.”   He peeked his head up over her princess covers, bleary-eyed, and saw what I had in my hand.  “I have some news,” I whispered.  His smile was immediate, and, just like that, our hopes were sky high.  Again.

A month passed slowly, the two of us longing to stretch our last weeks of summer vacation while also wishing away the time until our first prenatal visit.  At 8 weeks pregnant, we had finally made it to our first sonogram.  In the waiting room of the Women’s Health Building we were quiet, watching minutes tick by on the clock above the receptionist.  While not expecting the worst, we were certainly prepared for the worst.  We knew too well the sting of being given disappointing news in that dark room, and also knew that we would be okay no matter what the technician revealed with that magic wand.  “Just imagine those poor bastards who find out they’re having triplets,” Mike joked, trying to lighten the mood.

When we were finally called in, we held hands tightly and my heart raced as the ultrasound tech slid her wand through the cold gel on my stomach.  “Hmmmm,” she said.  And paused.  My heart dropped.  “Actually…. it looks like two.”

I laughed.  Not a big laugh, but a nervous laugh.  I was sure she was joking.  I think I said something like, “You’re kidding,” or “Yeah, right.”

She wasn’t kidding.

“Let’s take a different look,” she continued, moving onto the transvaginal ultrasound.  Mike and I locked eyes, and I could see the shock on his face.  I couldn’t help but think, “She’s wrong.  It’s not that there are two, it’s that something looks weird.”  I braced myself for bad news.  Again.

“Yup, there’s Baby 1!  And, look, there’s Baby 2!”

8 Weeks - Baby A 8 Weeks - Baby B  8 Weeks - Twinning

I watched dollar signs immediately start flashing through Mike’s wide eyes, the panic setting in right away.  We mouthed, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” to each other several times over, and our eyes were the size of dinner plates for the remainder of the appointment.

The shock hasn’t quite disappeared completely, even 6 weeks later.  Hearing two perfect heartbeats at my 13 week appointment made it feel more real, but it is still unbelievable to me that we will be a family of 5 in just a few short months.  We announced to the world with the video below, and are excited to share this latest adventure!

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