on this lengthy absence

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It’s been awhile.  Again (again, again).  It actually feels rather foreign to be sitting here staring down my WordPress Dashboard, fumbling through my own thoughts as I figure out what exactly to say here.  My absence on the blog was not planned, although it ended up becoming a purposeful break within the last several weeks.  I’ve been wondering (and maybe you have, too?) whether I would ever actually pick up blogging again, and if I even wanted to get back at it.  I think, tentatively, I am planning on dipping my toes back into the blogosphere on a more regular basis.  My hesitation is twofold, and, for the sake of honesty with those of you still periodically checking in here, I’d like to share my main roadblocks (writer’s blocks?) with you.

  1. What do I choose to share and keep private?  Especially now that Natalie is no longer a baby, I have found myself struggling with how much to share about her life online.  Those of you who follow me on Instagram (@moohooville) or are friends with me on Facebook know that there is no shortage of photos, videos, and anecdotes of Natalie in our digital landscape.  I have been asking myself if maybe that is enough–if maybe Natalie will someday wish I had been more discrete about her childhood and limited how many online platforms I used to share stories about our family’s journey.  I have also become much more keenly aware of the drawbacks of making my parenting decisions public, and how doing so invites criticism from others who feel they have been given some voice in the decision-making process.  Because I have shared so much about life in MooHooVille, it is probably only natural that some of the people in my life feel entitled to chime in about what we are doing, planning, and experiencing…. and if I want that chiming in (which can feel like judgement, criticism, and worse) to stop, then maybe I have to stop setting myself up for it.  If I am going to keep blogging, I need to figure out some balance between no-holds-barred, full-disclosure honesty and the superficial, look-how-happy-my-family-is stuff.
  2. Can I really keep up with blogging throughout the school-year?  This is the other, much more logistical, piece of the puzzle.  I just wrapped up my first year of teaching, and my first year of full-time work outside the home since Natalie was born.  I loved it, but man was it hard to simply keep up with the everyday stuff.  All the basics that keep our home humming (you know, dishes, laundry, packing lunches, putting toys away, managing bedtimes, etc.) felt like enough to occupy all of my after-work hours and then some.  I couldn’t find the time to blog, and I usually didn’t make the time.  I’m not sure if I will be facing that same reality this fall after getting my first year of teaching under my belt, or if I will find a way to schedule blogging time into a weeknight or the weekend.  I’d like to, but I’m not sure if I will really be able to follow through.

Those are the biggest things on my mind as I venture back into blogging, and I don’t have any kind of definitive answer about whether this post will be the start of my “comeback” (ha!) or just a little hello, but I do miss this space and the opportunity to write it provides me.  My guess is I’ll be back soon.

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