to natalie, on her unbirthday

dear natalie,

today, you are 6 whole months old. half a year ago i held you in my arms for the first time, smelled your baby smell, counted your fingers and toes, learned to feed you from my body, and became your mother. the exhaustion from labor, the pain from surgery, and the crashing of my hormones were the last things on my mind. all i could think about was you. after months of waiting, full of apprehension and anticipation and curiosity, you were suddenly here. you made us (me, you, and daddy) a family.

i have said it every month since you’ve been born, but i swear it’s true this time: this has been the best month. i want to put life on pause and keep you just the way you are. i know that someday your parents will be the least cool people in your life, but right now we are your favorites. we know you better than anyone, and can (most of the time) do all the right things to make you smile, laugh, sleep, and feel safe. we know when you’re hungry and can quite nearly predict when you are going to have a soggy diaper and what toy you want to play with the most. you let us know when you are happy and when you are sad. i hope you will always tell us what you are feeling, and that we’ll always be able to comfort you.

you have changed everything in our lives, and i know it’s still only the beginning. in these next months you will experience your first snowfall, your first christmas, your first family vacation, your first words, your first steps, your first birthday. you have made everything shiny and new for us because it is new to you. thank-you for bringing all of this wonder and excitement into our lives just by existing.

i love you, my little budgie,
mama

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5 thoughts on “to natalie, on her unbirthday

  1. this is beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. it also got me thinking of how adorable natalie is going to look in all the christmas-y outfits you will undoubtedly buy for her (if you haven't already!!).

  2. This was a beautiful post, Hilary 🙂 It should have a disclaimer, though; since I am sitting at my work desk getting ready to see students and I am now crying. Lots of love to your family ❤

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